Forget Questions, Fill in the Blanks

With questions, people feel you are talking at them;
with fill-in-the-blanks*, people feel you are talking with them.

Whenever you ask questions (which you believe communicates a sincere interest), it causes many people to feel challenged and that they’d better give the right answer or else they will feel wrong or stupid. The reason for this is that people have flash backs from times they were put on the spot by teachers, parents, coaches, etc. that didn’t feel positive.

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Mrs. Obama: Seek Out Those With Different Beliefs

From NPR

RICHMOND, Ky. (AP) — First lady Michelle Obama urged Eastern Kentucky University graduates on Saturday night to reach out to people with different political beliefs, saying the country would benefit from the conversations.

"If you're a Democrat, spend some time talking to a Republican," Mrs. Obama told about 600 education, business and technology graduates at the third and final commencement ceremony of the day. "And if you're a Republican, have a chat with a Democrat. Maybe you'll find some common ground, maybe you won't."

The first lady suggested that they visit senior centers to benefit from the experiences of people with plenty of "life experience under their belts." She also pointed them to religious congregations different than their own, saying they might hear something in a sermon "that stays with you." And she predicted they would learn something if they reached out "with an open mind and an open heart."

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Going Heartfelt in Corpus Christi, TX

Heartfelt Leaders come in all shapes and sizes.

(CBS News) CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas -- This is the story of two boys who go to the same high school in Corpus Christi, Texas - but live in opposite worlds.

Tyrell Clay is the football quarterback at Miller High School. More popular than free pizza - everyone loves Tyrell.

Adam Chadwick, on the other hand, dwells well down the social ladder. Picked on and called names - he's learned to keep to himself.

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Eric Garcetti, The "Dare to Care" Candidate for LA Mayor

If charity begins at home, maybe "heartfelt" needs to begin at local politics

Being truly "heartfelt" and politics are not the best of bedfellows.  However I have been watching the Mayoral race in Los Angeles for some time, because Los Angeles needs a heart transplant with all its traffic, financial, educational, business travails and because I live in Los Angeles.

The race has come down to two Democratic candidates, Wendy Gruel and Eric Garcetti.  Being both Democrats, many have said that they are pretty similar.  There are differences in their political agendas and they are well covered by political analysts.

What I am more interested, as you might guess, is who is the more "heartfelt leader?"

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How do you "Lean In" when you feel unwelcome?

"It's not easy to lean in when you're unwelcome and resented."
- Female head of HR at a Fortune 500 company

Since the release of Sheryl Sandberg's runaway bestseller, Lean In, there has been a groundswell movement to encourage women to do just that. I have discussed this with many women I know and many share with me that they are finding that easier said than done.

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How to Drain an Emotional Wound

Disclaimer: It's probably not a good idea to read this before you eat.

I was trained as a medical doctor and remember the visceral feeling I had when as a medical student I drained my first abscess in a patient.  We called the procedure "I & D" in our hospital notes which stands for, Incision and Drainage (I told you not to read this just before you eat).

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The Los Angeles Mayoral Race - Verify then Vote

(As seen at the Huffington Post)

Candidates Greuel and Garcetti.

Voters don't care about, have confidence in or believe what you say needs to be done, what you say you will do or even what you know, until they know what you have already gotten done for people like them in the situations and crises they are facing now.

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How to Deal with a Toxic Client

Law firms have a hard-earned reputation for being really tough places to work. Today I see an increasing amount of toxicity in those firms. Over the past couple of decades, I've met with partners and managing partners at regional and national law firms, who have not infrequently found themselves bullied by greedy, selfish, entitled, angry clients or even other partners.

CONTINUE READING AT HBR

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