Is Everything You are Seeing for Real?

By Deb Boelkes

In my first book, The WOW Factor Workplace: How to Create a Best Place to Work Culture, I told the story of how my co-collaborator Mark Goulston, M.D. and I met—all due to my reading his best-selling book, Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone. 

In Just Listen, Dr. Mark defined “The Persuasion Cycle”—the process by which a successful communicator can get someone’s buy-in to do something they wouldn’t otherwise likely do and make them glad they did it. Heartfelt Leaders are typically quite adept at leveraging the Persuasion Cycle—in a good way—to build empathy and trust and enable team members to achieve their dreams.

That said, I’ve learned first-hand that sociopaths can also be quite adept at using The Persuasion Cycle in not-such-good ways. As Dr. Mark explains, sociopaths “only care about you doing what they want.”

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Do You Always Let Your Conscience be Your Guide?

By Deb Boelkes

It’s amazing what kind of silly little things can bring long unthought-of memories to the forefront of your mind.

Just this week, as I was changing the sheets on our guestroom bed, I happened to notice the little stack of books that I leave on the nightstand—to keep our guests amused—was a little off kilter.

As I straightened up the stack, something caused me to flip through the pages of the smallest book, George Washington’s Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation, which the father of our country wrote at the tender age of 14. Young George’s rules “were intended to polish manners, keep alive the best affections of the heart, impress the obligation of moral virtues, teach how to treat others in social relations, and above all, inculcate the practice of a perfect self-control.”

Can you imagine a 14-year-old today writing a list of Civility Rules? Perhaps if we taught our children to appreciate the virtues of civility these days, the world might be a better place.

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New Lease on Life: The Blessing of Inspiring our Veteran Leaders

By Deb Boelkes

If you’re like me, perhaps you have a friend or two who occasionally sends you a meme or video that they have found especially funny, sentimental, provocative, or mind blowing. Depending on how busy I am, I may choose to give the missive a quick look, or I may set it aside until I have more time to indulge in such musings.

Recently I received a link to a 5-minute video originally published about five years ago. Due to the age of the post, I was about to set it aside until I noticed the title Reunited – A Short Film about Music and the Human Spirit and the description which began, “In this uplifting short film….” Since even I can use an uplifting message now and then, I decided to watch it right then and there

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All Employees are Essential. How are You Showing Your Appreciation?

By Deb Boelkes

With so many organizations scrambling just to stay alive during these challenging times, it’s understandable that some managers might forget to thank their team members for their contributions, especially as we enter the busy holiday season.  But it’s hard to fathom that any senior executive would think they can mandate injections for employees without serious repercussions.  What kind of appreciation does that convey?

Issuing mandates of any kind is not the way a heartfelt leader builds an enduring WOW factor workplace. Quite the contrary. Beloved and successful leaders—the kind team members would do anything for—are not dictators. Rather, they are the ones who lead through inspiration, encouragement, and appreciation.

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How Do You Overcome Underminers?

By Deb Boelkes

In the divisive, cancel culture world we live in nowadays, it’s sad but true that blame, belittling cutthroat politics, and undermining character assassinations have almost become de rigueur. Shocking examples are constantly in the headlines. Unfortunately, such abusive behavior has insidiously entered the workplace, as well.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a colleague’s inadvertent or deliberate attempts to undermine your efforts? Whenever you have found yourself to be the target of an underminer’s wrath, did you reluctantly accept the role of underdog, or did you instinctively respond in kind and fight back in defense?

Over the years, I’ve seen some who simply pick up their toys and go play quietly in the corner in attempts to mitigate what might otherwise become a no-win skirmish. I’ve observed others who eagerly throw incendiary insults right back at ‘em—deliberately upping the insult-to-injury ratio—only to enflame an all-out nuclear war.

But those aren’t the only options you have when dealing with an underminer.

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Sometimes You Must Reinvent Yourself

By Deb Boelkes

Have you ever had to just start over? I mean, completely reinvent what you do for a living?  Does the thought of doing so scare you, like jumping off a cliff?

These past 18 months have been challenging for almost everyone—and especially so for those who have lost their livelihoods or are facing the firing squad, thanks to vaccine mandate deadlines. My heart goes out to anyone struggling to find an optimistic path forward to reinvent oneself.   

Reflecting on my 40-year career, I see it now as an unending series of rethinking who I am and what I bring to the party. For me, re-imagining who I could be and what I might offer to the world is stimulating. The endless possibilities inspire and energize me.

The possibility of failing at something new has rarely entered my mind.  Maybe that’s because I’m bored by status quo. “Because we’ve always done it this way” mindsets repel me like diverging magnetic fields of two similar poles.

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Do You Like Being Told What to Do?

By Deb Boelkes

Have you ever noticed how young children like to do things on their own, unassisted?

I get a kick out of watching my little granddaughters exert their independence when they finally get to the toddler stage, confident that they can dress themselves. If I sit down to help them put their shoes on the correct feet, the little one will emphatically push my hands away and say, “I do myself!” 

It doesn’t matter that they don’t know which shoe goes on which foot, or that they can’t fasten straps the way I would. “I do it!” they tell me—and they take pride in doing so, their own way. They don’t like being told what to do.

Fostering self-sufficiency, independence, and pride in fulfilling one’s own desires without the aid of others is an important aspect of leadership development, even for the very young 

A year later, I note the state of the granddaughter’s room when it’s time for a bedtime story. The bed is unmade from the night before. Toys and clothes are strewn everywhere.  In attempts to help her learn organizational skills, I’ll suggest, “Shall we tidy up your room first?” If I’m lucky, I’ll hear “OK” before mommy orders, “Clean up your room!” When that happens, the granddaughter is likely to respond with an emphatic “No!” They don’t like to be told what to do.   

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Who Deserves Your Heartfelt Gratitude?

By Deb Boelkes

When was the last time you thanked someone for being an important part of your life?

The responses I typically hear to this question can be quite interesting. Sometimes, I simply get a dear-in-the headlights kind of look, as though one’s mind is madly searching through a mass of files in their personal Wayback Machine.  

Now, seriously, give it some thought. Who were the key people in your life, the ones who mentored you and were instrumental in your getting where you are?

I recently had the privilege of interviewing Nancy Howell Agee, president and CEO of Carilion Clinic—an integrated healthcare organization serving nearly a million Virginians and West Virginians—in preparation for writing my upcoming book, Women on Top: What’s Keeping You From Executive Leadership?  During our conversation, Nancy posited, “I have a little brass turtle here on my desk. When you see a turtle on top of a fence post, consider how she got there. You know she didn’t get there by herself.”

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