Forget the Coming Year. What are You Doing TODAY?

By Deb Boelkes

At the beginning of each new year, it's customary to make resolutions or set goals for the coming year.

From a business perspective, goal setting for the year is important to inspire, engage and align the efforts of everyone on the team. Without goals, the organization would be like a ship without a rudder, wandering aimlessly.

On a personal level, I strongly believe in making resolutions to course correct and improve outcomes going forward. Yet many of us fail to achieve our resolutions because we treat them like a “someday” kind of thing, to be done whenever we get around to it. Of course, we then get busy with other priorities, like sailing a rudderless dingy.

I’ve come to living more in the moment, in terms of New Years resolutions. My life is more about being the kind of person I want to be while doing the kinds of things that allow me to fully enjoy life and experience the satisfaction of being the way I want to show up for the people in my world. My everyday resolution is to live a more joyous, loving, and Godly life—moment by moment.

In the words of Mahatma Gandhi, I strive to be the change I wish to see in the world—not someday, but right now, today.

Do I always hit the mark? No. Like everyone, I’m imperfect. But I try. Each morning as I awaken, I begin my day by giving thanks to God for the many blessings He has bestowed upon me, and then I ask for guidance to follow the path He has planned for me this day.  

The challenge is that His plan is often different than mine. While I always seem to have a calendar full of commitments, unexpected events arise and agendas morph. Yet, if I stick to my resolution to live a more joyous, loving, and Godly life—moment by moment—things almost always work out for the best, even if it takes longer than hoped to realize it.  

This year on New Years Day my husband and I flew to Texas to spend the week with our two elementary school-aged granddaughters, while their parents tended to out of town business. It was the first time we had the children all to ourselves for a week without at least one of their parents being around to intercede in a sibling dispute or episodic misbehavior. 

Anticipating some sibling rivalry issues, I thought back to all the times the girls and I played Mary Poppins together. With Mary in charge, the girls would magically fall into line. They knew from having watched the movie over and over, Mary Poppins didn’t tolerate nonsense. Yet they also knew that when the Banks children followed Mary’s rules, she would take them on all kinds of imaginative adventures. So, I figured we could simply pick up where we last left off—on another Mary Poppins adventure.

Because the girls had recently enjoyed a Caribbean cruise with their parents, I cheerfully proposed upon arrival, “How about we play ‘cruise’ this week? Perhaps one of you can be the cruise director and one of you can be the head chef.”

The seven-year-old inquired, “Are we going to play ‘cruise’ all week long?”

I replied with a question: “Did the cruise you were just on last all week?”

“Yes.”

“Then we can make our cruise last all week.”

The seven-year-old’s face lit up. “Oh boy! I’ll be the cruise director because I’m really good at giving directions and having fun.” Pointing to her sister, she added, “she can be the head chef because she likes to cook.”

The nine-year-old looked at me skeptically, and asked, “Are you serious?”

I replied “Yes, if it’s OK with you.”

“Of course!” the new head chef gleefully responded. “But who will be the passengers?”

“Papa and I will be the passengers. We love going on cruises. It will be each of your jobs to take good care of us and make sure we have a good time on our cruise.”  

“Hurray!” the cruise staff shouted in unanimous delight. “When can we start?”

“Right now!” I confirmed.

So, everyone immediately assumed their assigned roles and we set off on our pretend cruise. The cruise director promptly began to lay out our itinerary while the head chef began planning our cuisine and concocting the kind of things we could bake together as a passenger activity.

Whenever anyone stepped out of character, one of the crew members would usually issue a reminder, “Hey, you’re supposed to be (whatever the assigned role was).” If one of the crew happened to get a little testy with the other, I would whisper a reminder, “Is that what the cruise director (or head chef) is expected to do?” It all worked like a charm.

My husband was astounded. While we had raised three boys, we never role-played ‘cruise’ with them.   “What a great idea,” he admitted. “I’ve never seen them so well behaved.”

I replied, “It’s amazing what happens when you treat them like responsible adults, enable them play to their strong suits and define their own goals, and then hold them accountable.”

As a result, whenever anyone on the team stepped out of line, no one was hesitant to issue a gentle course correction like, “Hey, that’s my job,” or “I think that’s your job,” or offer encouraging feedback like “Hey, that’s a great idea.” Likewise, they made sure others recognized their respective contributions and achievements by saying things like “I’m a really good cruise director (or head chief) because...” (whatever the reason was) or “I want a promotion to be the…” (whatever their next dream job was) “because I’d be really good at that, too!”     

The bottom-line was that everyone had fun—in the moment—as we sailed along together, performing to the best of our abilities in our agreed-to roles. Just like Mary Poppins, it was magical.    

This same process can apply in your own life, whether you are 7, or 37, or 67. Forget about planning for the year ahead. Simply set intentions for the here and now and be the kind of person you want to be as you do the kind of things that will allow you to enjoy your life while being more of how you want to show up for the people in your world.

Happy New Year and best wishes for this day…and every day.

May you enjoy your journey!