Why Are You in Such a Hurry?

By Deb Boelkes

Do you ever find yourself rushing through the day, exerting unnecessary pressure on yourself in valiant attempts to cram “just one more thing” into your already busy life?

Throughout my hustle-and-bustle leadership career—before technology enabled us to work from home—I hurried through virtually every aspect of my life in attempts to make up for the untold hours I spent sitting in heavily clogged LA traffic, where virtually every hour is “rush hour.”

Never-the-less, on the days that I wasn’t travelling to far-off places, I loved catching up with my local colleagues and staff over lunch in sit-down restaurants. The biggest challenge we faced when deciding where to dine was not so much about the kind of food we would have, but whether we had the time to drive or if we needed to walk to ensure we could get back to the office before our next meeting. Yes, walking was often the quickest option.

After 30+ years enduring such ridiculous drive-time routines—as more people continued to relocate to southern California and added even more congestion to an already horrific traffic situation—I often felt like the proverbial hamster who never had enough sense to get off the hamster wheel.

When the day finally came that my husband announced he wanted to quit the rat race and retire, the daily “hurry up” grind had become so in-grained in our lifestyle that I responded with some trite remark like, “You must be joking.” But he wasn’t joking. He was done….and he wanted me to be done, too.

Now my dilemma was how to go about changing virtually every aspect of a life lived for decades on autopilot.

What would my husband do with his time? He didn’t play golf or cards. He didn’t have drinking buddies. The only activity he had in his non-work life revolved around me and my weekend plans for the family.

What would I do with myself day-in and day-out? I had never even dreamed of retiring in my mid-50s, but now I had to…and in a hurry!

To make a long story short, we easily managed to quickly shift gears. We made evaluating retirement location options our new full-time job, which turned out to be quite a fun and eye-opening adventure. Due to the numerous must-haves and nice-to-have criteria we defined for our ideal location, we were able to quickly narrow down our search to states in the southeast, where the pace of life was dramatically slower than what we were so accustomed to.

When we ultimately moved to northeast Florida it almost seemed as though we had landed in the Heart of Dixie—where one might expect to find older folks spending leisurely afternoons sitting on their front porch rocking chairs watching the grass grow.  The Low Country-style home that we ultimately purchased really does have four white rocking chairs on the front porch which we gratefully inherited from the previous owner. But rather than a front yard full of grass to mow, we have a yard full of pink azaleas that bloom throughout the year—and nothing to mow. What more could new retirees ask for?  

In a hurry to settle into our new lifestyle, I immediately engaged in the kind of activities I had never had the time to enjoy while living the corporate life, from leading social clubs and philanthropic efforts, to hosting dinner parties and educational live music events. I essentially traded a life driven by business meetings and paychecks for volunteer pursuits and membership nametags. In no time flat, my new retired-life calendar was every bit as full as my work-life calendar had been.

One weekday morning, on my way to an exercise class, I literally ran from my car into the UPS store where I kept my business post office box. After grabbing my mail, I made a beeline to the supermarket next door. Heads-down, sorting through my mail as I darted to the grocery store, I heard a man’s voice exclaim, “Hey, hold on there, little lady. Just hold on!” The shout-out caught me completely off guard.

Wondering who on earth would say such a thing, I figured whoever it was certainly wasn’t speaking to me. When the voice reiterated, “Hey there, little lady! You don’t have to be in such a hurry around here. Now, just slow down,” I halted my forward motion and returned an annoyed sneer to the audacious intruder for daring to interrupt my self-inflicted expeditiousness. Having captured my attention, the man responded with a grandfatherly grin and nod of courtesy.

Only then did I realize the gracious gentleman was seated on an electric, 3-wheeled, motorized mobility scooter. I immediately felt ashamed for having been so self-absorbed that I didn’t even notice he was there. I chastised myself for not being the first to offer a quick, friendly wave to acknowledge his existence as I hurried by. 

At that point I took a deep breath to calm myself. Then, with all the politeness I could muster, I extended my right hand to shake his as I responded with a sincere, “Good morning, sir. I apologize and thank you for so kindly trying to get my attention. It was rude of me to rush past you without at least saying hello. I do hope you will forgive me, and I hope you will have a lovely day.  Thank you for making my day a little more special.”

I immediately vowed to myself to make a much-needed deceleration adjustment to my standard, “always in a hurry” operating procedure. Now, no matter where I go, I deliberately take the time to smile at virtually everyone I encounter. I smile at the people I walk past in parking lots. I engage in conversation with cashiers in stores.  I wave at our neighbors as they drive down the street.

Thanks to the kindly gentleman on the mobility scooter, I came to learn that a simple yet sincere smile, served up with a kindly hello, might be the one and only thing that brightens a lonely person’s day. Your smile just might make all the difference needed to save a despondent person’s life.

Regardless of whether you live in a hustle-bustle world or live a life of leisure, never ignore an opportunity to extend a gracious gift of good cheer to those you encounter along your path. Even when you’re dealing with an emergency, be sure to slow down for the instant it takes to offer a smile.  Not only might your graciousness help someone else cope better with whatever calamity might be going on in their life, but it will also brighten your day.

So, whenever you find yourself rushing around in attempts to cram “just one more thing” into your already busy life, be sure to deliberately take the brief instant it takes to share your smile with those you encounter. Your smile is free to give away and you’ll usually get one back in return. What a gift.