What Was Your Most Humbling Experience?

By Deb Boelkes

Every now and then, when you least expect it, someone will say something especially kind about you or do something on your behalf that touches your heart and leaves you feeling undeserving, yet awe inspired. Such gestures can sometimes leave us forever changed for the better. Has this ever happened to you?

When one of my sons was in military flight school—learning to fly F/A-18 fighter jets—he’d occasionally come home on leave and head down to one of the local pubs at the beach to catch up with his buddies. More than once, he came home from the pub with a look on his face that I would label as stunned and undeserving disbelief.   When I’d ask him if he’d had a good time, he’d humbly reply, “Yeah, and I didn’t even have to pay the tab.”

Turns out, when he would try pay his tab, he’d be told the bill had already been paid by some anonymous patron. He couldn’t believe anyone would do such a thing for someone they didn’t even know.   It was obvious to me that the benevolent patron, in their own unique way, had thanked him for his service.  I know my son always appreciated it—and so did I. It was a lesson in gratitude for us both.

Ever since, I’ve strived to perform my own little acts of kindness now and then—like the time a disheveled young mother with toddler in tow in the grocery store checkout line was short of cash. Seeing her embarrassingly select items to remove from her grocery bags, I handed a twenty to the cashier and whispered, “I’ll get it.”  My thought was, there but for the grace of God go I. Helping her out in her time of need was the least I could do.

There have been other times when I’ve pre-paid for movie or theater tickets and then couldn’t attend the event. So, I’d gift the tickets to a friend or someone else they knew. When the recipient would offer to pay me, I’d simply respond, “Just pay it forward sometime,” like a gift that keeps on giving.

Recently, I was incredibly humbled to be the recipient of a quite unexpected pay-it-forward gift: I was hosting an impromptu luncheon for some friends to meet a Vice Provost from Liberty University who was in town to speak to a civic organization that I lead (Liberty is a private evangelical Christian university in Lynchburg, VA).  In honor of Liberty’s mission, I invited members of the bible study group my husband and I attend as our luncheon guests. The event was held at the Bar & Grill of one of our local golf courses.

As our group engaged in friendly conversation while waiting to be served, some golfers came in from the golf course to dine at nearby tables. I took special note of two older gentlemen seated at a table next to us, as one would occasionally glance my way for some reason.

As our lunch was served, I did something I’ve never done in a restaurant: I asked one of our bible study members to lead us in a blessing. Linda graciously accepted my request, and we all bowed our heads while she offered a lovely expression of gratitude to the Lord for bringing us all together to share in the friendship and nourishment before us. When Linda concluded her heartfelt sentiments, we all raised our heads and went on to enjoy our happy gabfest and luncheon fare. 

When it was finally time to move on to our next event and our server had not yet delivered the bill, I excused myself to take care of the payment.

I was stunned when the server explained, “Your bill has already been paid.”

Since I hadn’t seen anyone else at the table take the tab, I asked who had paid our bill. The server made a gesture toward the table where the two older gentlemen had been dining and stated, “One of the gentlemen sitting at that table paid for you.”

In stunned disbelief I replied, “Honestly? Did they know someone at our table?”

“I don’t think so. The one in the blue striped shirt just said he wanted to pay your bill because he liked that you all prayed together.”

Wow.

“Can you tell me his name? I’d at least like to thank him for his kind generosity.”

 “I’m sorry but I don’t know who he is. I’ve never seen him come in here before. He’s not one of our members and he paid in cash, so I don’t even have a credit card receipt with his name on it.” 

Talk about a humbling experience. I was so caught off guard all I could do was stand there speechless, trying to make sense of it. Our giving thanks together in this public venue must have really meant something special to the kind gentleman.

As I stood there not knowing quite what to do, it was as though my life flashed before my eyes. I thought of the anonymous patrons who had paid my Marine Corps son’s bar tab. I thought of the wonderful people who had taken me in as their own daughter, no questions asked, during my so very desperate high school years (this story is in my book The Wow Factor Workplace). And now this. Such humbling experiences, all.

I then recalled what my “adopted” parents advised, years later, when I asked them, “How can I ever repay you for all you have done for me?”

Their response was simply Pay it forward to others.

As this joyous season of Thanksgiving draws near, consider how you, too, might pay your own debt of gratitude forward to someone else. You never know how a simple, random, and possibly anonymous act of kindness might just be the kind of humbling gift that could change someone’s life—and quite possibly the lives of countless others—in a positive way, forever.   

Extending my heartfelt best wishes to you and your loved ones for a blessed and happy Thanksgiving.