What does "Daring to Care" mean?

If you're not taking the time and making the effort to find out what really matters to your client and then have that matter to you more than what you care about, you're not in the service business, you're in sales. And if what matters to your client equals what matters to you, you're not in the service or sales business, you're in the exchange business.

I recently sat down with a colleague and we were discussing how service providers can demonstrate that they really care to a client or potential client.

By the end of our lunch this became clear, but I welcome further thoughts from you.

Daring to Care

1. Taking the time and making the effort to find out what truly matters to someone else and why it matters to them.
2. Having what matters to them, matter to you.
3. Demonstrating that it matters to you by taking action and doing something beyond what could be expected of you and even if it causes you inconvenience or costs you something, including income.

Why would that be "Daring to Care?"

1. Taking the time and making the effort to find out what truly matters to someone else and why it matters to them. To quote Wilfred Bion, it requires listening without memory (an old personal agenda that you're trying to plug someone into) or desire (a new personal agenda that you're trying to plug someone into). To do this requires letting go of anything you want or need to focus on what someone else wants or needs. Taking the time and making the effort to truly understand what matters to someone and why requires letting go of your personal agenda or at least any of your personal agenda other than to be of service to someone else. 
   
2. Having what matters to them, matter to you. Why is this daring?  This can be quite "Daring" if you are being pressured by a boss, a colleague, shareholders or a spouse to "bring home the bacon" and to exclusively focus on doing what's important to them, because they may all feel entitled to it and will become upset with you if you don't. And also because many people will tell you are a fool to care about others when everyone in the world only cares about themselves.
   
3. Demonstrating that it matters to you by taking action and doing something beyond what could be expected of you and even if it causes you inconvenience or costs you something, including income. Instead of outta sight, outta mind it means outta sight then follow through. This is challenging to most people who are feeling overextended, because nearly every time they stop focusing on one thing they are often falling behind on the next.  When you're constantly racing ahead to catch up, the last thing you have time to do is follow through on something, especially if it's something that is above the call of duty in the service of a customer or client as opposed to grabbing more assets under management or cranking out more billable hours. And if you live in California (as I do) it means running counter to the culture where "Yes" means "Maybe" and "Maybe" means "No."

What do you think?