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The Listening Talk - Pre-Work That By Itself Will Help You you're going to drag a horse to water, it helps if they are thirsty.

Nearly everyone needs to be a better listener, but few want to.  What people want is to have others listen to them.  Wouldn't you agree?

So how do you cause people to be "thirsty" to become better listeners?

To tackle this, when I give my "Listening Talk" based on "Just Listen" I now make pre-work a requirement to attend.

And if you try this pre-work it will automatically make a difficult relationship better, whether or not you attend my talk.

The Listening Talk - Pre-Work

Reach out to three people in your personal or professional life that you have a tense relationship with and say to them, "I am attending a program on improving communication and I need your help. This is something I have to do to be able to attend. When I thought about it, it's actually something I should have done a long time ago."

  1. How well and how often do I listen to you, hear you out, understand and consider what you say? (Be prepared for a "lousy and never" response)
  2. At my worst and when I am doing all of those poorly, how frustrated, upset and even angry can I make you feel? (Be prepared for them to tell you it's awful)
  3. If I were to improve in how I listen, hear you out, understand and consider what you say, how much would that improve our relationship and how much do you think it would help my success in my career and work? (If you're lucky, they may tear up with relief that you're owning up to it and appear to want to do better)

After they respond look them in the eye and say, "I'm very sorry about that.  I didn't know that and I'm going to do better."

That alone may be enough to get things back on track.  If you want to do much more than that, email us at: to find out about The Listening Talk or even consider arranging for one in your organization or company.  But remember, the price of admission is doing your pre-work.


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