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There has got to be a better way



See Dr. Mark Goulston on Good Day LA: Leaders Should Dare To Care About Everybody

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The Book(s) You've Been Waiting For 

At long last, the Heartfelt Leadership book Dr. Mark and I have been collaborating on for years now is finally coming to life. Best of all, since we made you wait soooo long, we’re actually delivering not just one, but two books in the coming months. Taaa-Daaa!

For those of you who may not be familiar with how these books came to be, here goes:

Shortly after Dr. Mark and I met for the first time, about eight years ago, we got to know each other over a business lunch. It was then that I shared a story with Dr. Mark about my recent participation on a technology industry executive panel discussion on the topic of passion and engagement. Toward the end of this event, we panelists took questions from the audience.

One man from the audience stood up and directed a comment to me, stating “you obviously lead from your heart.” He then continued, “and we all know there is no room for that in business.” I was totally stunned, especially since the discussion topic was “How to drive more passion and engagement in the workplace”.

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Memorial Day 2018 - Take Time to Remember

Q: If one picture's worth a thousand words, what are the following videos worth?

A: A nation's thanks

Rather than writing about Memorial Day, I thought I'd share some youtube videos that caused me to take time to remember and give thanks.

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What is Heartfelt Leadership?

The great football coach, Vince Lombardi (1913 - 1970) once said, "It is essential to understand that battles are primarily won in the hearts of men. Men respond to leadership in a most remarkable way and once you have won his heart, he will follow you anywhere." I think this applies to women, too.

So how do you do this?

- Look at situations objectively;

- Appreciate the backgrounds each of your team members bring to the table;

- Remain honest in all your dealings;

- Be humble (leave your ego at the door);

- Be patient;

- Be grateful for the contributions each team member makes;

- Treat everyone with trust and respect. 

If you do these things, your people, men and women alike, will feel it in their hearts. This is the essence of Heartfelt Leadership. 



Election 2016 - Crowdsourcing the Best vs. Least Lousy President

Would you agree that the President we need and want should be the best leader vs. the least lousy?  If so, do you agree that the best candidate is one who engenders the following from Americans:

CLARI-T™ Leadership

  1. Trust = we trust him or her to do what they say they’ll do, to not unnecessarily hurt or unfairly take advantage of others
  2. Confidence = we feel confidence in them because they have a track record of making good judgment calls and decisions, getting things done and that they can and will get things done when in office
  3. Respect = we respect them for their integrity and standing for and standing up for a noble mission that serves America and for standing up against greedy, devious, selfish or self-serving people that attempt to detract, distract or derail the organization from fulfilling that mission
  4. Admiration = we admire them for how they stand for, stand up for and stand up against anything or anyone that would detract from, distract from or derail that mission (they are unflappable, present, quietly formidable and demonstrate poise under pressure)
  5. Likability = we like them for being enjoyable and enjoying of others, for having a sense of humor and not taking themselves too seriously
  6. Inspiration = we are inspired by them because of having all of the prior attributes and because they both motivate and pump us up and inspire and lift us up

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Big Bad Bullies - Part I

Most of us have to deal with bullies at some points in our lives and careers. More often than not, the bullies we face tend to be male, but females can be bullies, too. Bullies range in age from toddlers to retirees, and every age in between.

Some of us try to give beastly people the benefit of the doubt, assuming they are just having a bad day or are in a uniquely bad situation. Then there are some people who simply seem to get their kicks from being a bully.

Even at my age, as practiced as I am and with all the insightful coaching I get from Dr. Mark on the subject, it can sometimes still be a challenge for me when I’m confronted by a bully. Yes, it still happens, but over the years I’ve gotten a lot better at dealing with most of them fairly effectively. Guess you could say “Practice Makes Perfect”, but I must admit, I’m far from perfect at dealing with some bullies. Sometimes I still get surprised. Maybe it’s because bullies don’t come in “One Size Fits All” packages and some tactics don’t work in every case. 

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Dr. Mark Goulston is Founder and Co-CEO of the Goulston Group.

Founders, CEO's, Executives, Chairmen and Boards of Directors hire the Goulston Group and Dr. Goulston to help them create a "gotta have it!"​ response from customers and clients to their products and services, a "gotta work there!"​ response from talent they are seeking to recruit, a "gotta invest there!"​ response from investors and a "gonna get it done!"​ response from employees.

Widely regarded as a "people hacker,"​ Dr. Goulston began his career as an interventional psychiatrist focusing on suicide and violence prevention and UCLA professor of psychiatry. He then extended his work to training FBI and police hostage negotiators and then to the corporate and NGOs. His entire career's approach has been to get through to people by getting where they're truly coming from, having them experience that along with the deep trust that Dr. Goulston will never hurt them or take advantage of them.  And he never has and never will.

His "people hacking"​ has now extended to, "hacking genius,"​ and he has been speaking, writing and providing webinars on "Thinking Like Steve Jobs - Discover His 4 Step Formula for Creating 'Gotta Have It!'​"​

Dr. Goulston is the author of seven books with his book, "Just Listen"​ Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, becoming the top book on listening in the world and his first book, Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, first published in 1996 being in the top 5 self-help books at Amazon for the last five years.  His next book due out October 21 is "Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life."

He writes for Harvard Business Review, Business Insider, Huffington Post, Fast Company and Psychology Today and appears widely in the media including CNN, Wall St. Journal, NY Times, Fortune and Forbes.


What's Possible and Why It Matters

What's possible...




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My Anniversary Reaction to Warren Bennis' Death

"Warren, you liked me! You really liked me!" - with appreciation to Sally Field

My last mentor, Warren Bennis, died a year ago on July 31, 2014.  As a psychiatrist I have known about and observed what is referred to as anniversary reactions in friends and patients, but I have never experienced one of my own.  That is until today.

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