Healing the World, One Conversation at a Time
Friday, July 25, 2014 at 5:28PM
Mark Goulston

 

What if...

Every conversation that is taking place between Republican and Democrat, US and Russia, Israel and Hamas, husband and wife, parent and child where people are talking at or over each other could immediately change to people talking with each other.

It might not heal the world, but it certainly wouldn't hurt.

What do you think?

Want to get started?*

Learn the Four Levels of Listening:

  1. Removed Listening
  2. Reactive Listening
  3. Responsible Listening
  4. Receptive Listening

Learn the Four Levels of Talking:

  1. Talking Over
  2. Talk At
  3. Talking To
  4. Talking With

And cultivate "Receptive Listening" and "Talking With" others. Here's a hint.  You know you're doing both when the other person relaxes their neck and shoulders, e-x-h-a-l-e-s and smiles at you with relief and gratitude.

One of the ways to prime the pump is to remember as specifically as you can a conversation you had with a loving parent, grandparent, sibling, uncle, aunt, friend, teacher, mentor or coach who talked you through a very dark time, talked you into doing something you didn't think you were capable of or talked you into not doing something you would deeply regret (and you listened).

In the conversation did they talk at or over you? Did they talk to you? Or did they talk with you? In all likelihood it was the latter and the reason you know that is that when they were talking with you, you felt less alone. How meaningful was that conversation?

Is or was that person one of the top five people you'll be grateful to at the end of your life?  Would you like to honor that person if you could? If so, what would be the best way to do that? Wouldn't they want you to just "pay it forward?"

Maybe that is the New Golden Rule... "Do onto others what someone special has done onto you."

Imagine the possibilities.

* Source: "Just Listen" Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

Article originally appeared on Heartfelt Leadership (http://www.heartfeltleadership.com/).
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