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Tuesday
Nov122013

Human Cooling, Global Warming and Childhood Obesity

http://wellness.nysbs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Obesity-in-Children-childhood-obesity-problems.jpgBring back that lovin' feeling! - The Righteous Brothers

Are we getting even with an unloving world by taking from Mother Nature and then eating poorly?

Tell me I'm wrong about these twenty two observations:

  1. Listening has been replaced by lecturing
  2. Talking with has been replaced by talking at or worse, talking over
  3. Thinking has been replaced by reacting
  4. Being contemplative has been replaced by being bored
  5. Joy has been replaced by excitement
  6. Gratitude has been replaced by disappointment
  7. Taking responsibility for your actions has been replaced with blaming and/or excuse making
  8. Being loving has been replaced with being resentful
  9. Laughing with has been replaced with laughing at others
  10. Happiness has been replaced by fleeting fun
  11. Kindness has been replaced with irritability and being judgmental
  12. Fulfillment has been replaced by busyness
  13. Wisdom has been replaced by smartness
  14. Patience has been replaced by impatience
  15. Calmness has been replaced by agitation
  16. Contentment has been replaced by momentary satisfaction
  17. Making love has been replaced by having sex
  18. Giving has been replaced by taking, or even worse grabbing
  19. Selflessness has been replaced by selfishness
  20. Value has been replaced by ROI
  21. Human being has been replaced by human doing and worse, human having
  22. Peace of mind and peace on Earth has been replaced by piece of the action

If I am not wrong, then what do the items at the beginning of each observation have in common that those on the right that they have been replaced by don't?To me, it seems that the ones at the beginning of each observation overflow with, "Being okay with the world and oneself and wanting to give back to the world," while the ones at the end overflow with, "Something is missing and something is wrong scarcity and pulling, pushing, taking and grabbing to fill the hole."

The more you feel or live with those experiences on the right side of the list, the more you will try to consume, buy, take and grab to compensate for it and doing that heats up the world and leads to global warming (a.k.a. much ado about nothing).More importantly, the more you feel and live with those experiences on the left side of the list, the more you want to give back to the world for those gifts.

How does this relate to childhood (and adult) obesity? Imagine being a child living in a world surrounded by people who behave much more like the descriptions on the right side of the list. Furthermore imagine being a child who feels frustrated, hurt, upset and/or angry and that the first thing you need is comfort (not pity, but compassion and TLC) and the last thing you need is a lecture or worse being barked at and shamed. If you not only feel deprived, but "beaten up" (figuratively or literally) and comfort is nowhere to be found and ice cream, hamburgers, french fries and good old American grease makes you feel better and zoning out on your computer or video game offers you a distraction and even some fun and healthy food and exercise feel like more pain, what are you going to choose? BTW most of the people I know who love to exercise and to eat healthily have a passion (if not obsession) about it and those two focuses often relieve emotional pain for them instead of adding to it which is true of the majority of children.

To test this hypothesis, for the next week, each day:

  1. Think of someone you are grateful to, what you are grateful to them for, the difference it made to you and your life.
  2. Contact them (or a surviving family member if they have died) to tell them the above.
  3. Think of someone you need to apologize to and what you need to apologize to them about.
  4. Contact them, tell them (if it's been a long time), "This is a long overdue apology, that I should have made a long time ago, but as time slipped away I felt too embarrassed to contact you.But I'm contacting you now to tell you, I did _______ (or failed to do_____________), I was wrong and I am sorry."If you use email, write in the subject line, "A long overdue apology," which should get their attention.

After you have done the above for one week, please come back to this posting and leave your comment. And if it has been an uplifting week and gave you a new attitude towards life (and maybe made it easier to take care of yourself healthwise), teach it to and model it for your children.

If you think human cooling is new, as this famous 1964 song by the Righteous Brothers will attest, think again:

The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' from A on Vimeo.

 

BTW if you're too cynical, hardened and critical about this particular blog, beware that you may be on your way to becoming like the unforgiving, bitter parent that you swore you would never become.

Reader Comments (1)

Experiencing comfort during our first years when we are particularly vulnerable us feel safe.
Love fosters our feeling comfortable with the unknown. The more parents have experienced affection, the better they'll be able to share it with their children and demonstrate vulnerability.

Food is love. The child with an eating disorder does not feel safe desperately turning to eating as a sense of security to avoid harsh realities or other behaviors to gain a sense of security. He or she feels alone. And, as you say, grabbing to fill a hole, etc. for a sense of well-being.

We then go through life yearning for approval, to be loved, understood and known experiencing varying degrees of difficulty depending on earlier life experiences exacerbated by a myriad of conduct by peers we engage into and throughout adulthood.

One effect could be trying too hard in response as I have given my own experiences.

The more threatening and unloving interactions are, the less we are able to be vulnerable having intimate relationship to giving. The result is taking, domination and various irregularities in behavior as means to control having bought into the illusion that this serves our interest.

Insecurities cause us to not feel safe being vulnerable thus considerably affecting our ability to give, receive and share relationship. Misery the consequence of ignorance, intentionally or unintentionally hurting ourselves or others.

But what to do? Learning new behaviors. Having the courage to be vulnerable. Avoiding toxic influences. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Listening. Seeking love and sharing it unconditionally.

Part 2

Someone I adore that complements my life in the most meaningful of ways did something that I thought didn't respect my feelings.

I shared with him how grateful I was for our relationship and that really what he had done was rather an unintended accident.

I simply was being over-sensitive at the moment and did not think before I responded the way I did with the words I did taking into consideration his feelings.

He was understanding and accepted my apology for over-reacting. I treated him to super later in the week.

November 17, 2013 | Registered CommenterMark Johnson
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